Transforming the Destructive Power of Envy – Cinderella and Her Sisters

Over the next few weeks I will publish my most read blogs over the last 10 years

Cedric Johnson, Ph.D and Kristine MacKain, Ph.D

If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it – Fr Richard Rohr

The Cinderella story is (among other things) about the destructive power of envy that all of us have experienced sometime in our lives. The sisters envied their stepsister, Cinderella, for her admirable qualities (e.g., her kindness and goodness) – qualities that the sisters perceived they did not have themselves.  Consequently, the sisters marginalized Cinderella, denigrating her and trying to diminish her in the eyes of others.  In so doing, the sisters hurt themselves because they compromised their own potential for goodness.  One interesting aspect of envy is that it can hurt both the person who envies as well as the person envied. Let’s consider the variety of ways that envy is expressed:

1. The “your good qualities are interpreted as bad” put down. People envious of the good qualities in others often interpret these characteristics negatively. For example, the strong and assertive woman leader is described as pushy.
2. The “tall blade of grass gets cut down” response. Sometimes the cultural or gender role expectation dictates that no one should rise above the others. For example, if someone frequently toots his or her horn about achievements, the group quickly censors that individual.
3. The “I hate you for all that is good about you” phenomenon. Consider the woman who is trapped in a long marriage to an abusive husband. She transfers her hate for the husband onto her independent daughter who pushes back in the face of mistreatment by the father.  Her mother envies and hates her daughter for the strength that the mother cannot express.
4. The “I am going to ignore you” response. Cinderella’s sisters refused to acknowledge Cinderella’s good qualities. They ignored her, thinking she did not deserve validation and/or hoping that by ignoring her, her goodness would somehow disappear or be overlooked by others.

Why are some people consciously or unconsciously envious of the strengths and abilities of others?  Why do they despise them so much”? Let’s look at why people envy and what happens when they do.

Cinderella’s Sisters – The Enviers 

Let’s take a closer look at the inner life of the sisters.

1. The sisters are (consciously) unaware of their own inadequacies.  However, they experience pain in the presence of Cinderella’s good qualities because, unconsciously, they feel inadequate. This pain is difficult for them to tolerate. As a result, the inadequacy they experience is projected or transferred onto Cinderella, resulting in them viewing Cinderella as inadequate instead of themselves.
2. The sisters cannot move forward to uncover their own positive qualities and potential. The gaping hole they feel in their lives and the resultant hate for those who seem to have what they long for keeps them stuck and unable to move toward uncovering their own goodness and/or spirituality.
3. The sisters are excessively critical of Cinderella, which generalizes to others. The sisters, for example, may constantly compare themselves to others and judge others to be wanting in relation to themselves.  They in turn assume a position of superiority vis-à-vis others, resulting in statements like: “I am privileged and wealthier than you are” or “I am more accomplished than you are”. All such comparisons are an attempt to bolster their perceived inferiority by posturing a critical superiority.

Cinderella – The Envied

What does it feel like to be in Cinderella’s shoes? What do people typically do in response to being envied?

1. Mute their strengths and giftedness. In response to the critical disposition of their enviers, the envied may become inhibited. Because they want to avoid the pain of being criticized, the envied may make self-deprecating statements or render themselves altogether invisible by not expressing themselves at all. This is an unhealthy response because it is self-negating.
2. Accept the abusing messages as the truth about themselves. The envied (especially in childhood) may internalize the toxic criticisms of the enviers and turn it against themselves. This can manifest itself in self-abusing behaviors such as eating disorders, undermining their own success, or lowering expectations for themselves.
3. Escape from the pain through compensating behaviors. The envied may try to cover up their pain by behaviors such as overworking, promiscuity, and substance abuse. These maladaptive responses dull the pain of  feelings of  inadequacy and shame that they experience at the hands of the envier.

 Pain – The Portal to the True Self

How do those that envy and those who are envied release themselves from the pain caused by these destructive emotions? Below, are some suggestions:

1. Get out of denial and come to terms with the fact that envy exists. Unless we name it for what it is, it will continue to eat away at us like an emotional acid rain. This is true both for those who envy and those who are the targets of envy.
2. Push back against the enviers. For those who are envied, come to recognize that you are not the person the abusers are saying you are. This position of strength will lead you to respond with a resounding “No” to all envious bullies in life and put you on the path to personal wholeness.
3. Affirm the goodness within. Both enviers and those envied can acquire the psychological strength and spiritual knowledge to express the best that is within them. People are capable of accessing their authentic selves and through that connection, can validate their worth and make strong, loving connections with others.

The healing of envy, for the envier and the envied, represents the resilience and triumph of the human spirit. Envious sisters can become loving siblings. Cinderella can cease to be the target or victim of abuse and embrace the fullness of her humanity. 

How has envy manifested in your life? What was your path to recovery?

Your comments are valued.

What is this Thing Called Love?

(Revised 4/12/21)

Love is everywhere but at times nowhere to be found. There are so many things that interfere with its expression including our highly divided society. As a result we shut down our hearts.

How does love open us up so that we can become fully awake, realize our true humanity, and live out our essential oneness?

It lifts us above punitive judgment. 

We waste so much time and energy beating others and ourselves up for both our real and concocted failures. In the end, in our minds, we become the sum of our flaws. Love demonstrates that our inner self is in the image of Presence. And that is the Source of love that embraces us warts and all. It is our inner GPS that gets muted by judgment.

It releases us from dualistic thinking. 

We live in a tribal them/us world of the liberals and conservatives and those who are right and those who are out to lunch. Here our minds indulge in ‘othering’ like a cruel caste system that views one group as superior to another. In the end dualism divides humankind. Love unites.

It is not something out there.

We spend our lives looking for love in all the wrong places. It is not found in our achievements. If we experience Presence in our hearts as love, then love is closer than we ever dreamed. Love is rooted in the depths of our being. It is not the creation of mind that is often filled with erroneous stories we tell ourselves.

It transcends transactional relationships

So many of our relationships are based on “What you do for me” like helping me make money or minimizing my boredom. A true friendship grounded in love is where you can share your deepest faults, reveal your most cherished dreams, and celebrate your hard fought success. 

In a world of givers and takers I am reminded of a conversation between two of my relatives. The wife of six decades asked her husband “What about me do you like?” He responded “All the things you do for me” (Narcissism?)

It is not something we seek. It seeks us.

The frantic search for love is over. The key is to give up our struggle and surrender to its presence in silence. It is already there. It is not something we earn or deserve but it comes to us through grace.

How then do you know that you have found love?

The ultimate test of how well you love is not what you feel but what you do. It is an action. It shows up in how you regard yourself, love those close to you, and relate lovingly to the rest of the world. It manifests in true friendship much like one wise person said “A friend is medicine for life”. It even extends to those so different from us because ultimately we all are one.

Forgiveness: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Cedric Johnson, Ph.D. and Kristine MacKain, Ph.D. 

Excerpt from my memoir at breakframe.wordpress.com

Sometimes we are emotionally wounded by the negative behaviors of other people toward us, resulting in disabling feelings of hurt, anger, and/or resentment. Most of us would agree that forgiveness is the best way to free us from those negative feelings, but why is it often so difficult to do? How many times have you (or others you know) said that they are not ready to forgive or cannot forgive? Why do we hang on to our hurt feelings, which are obviously not doing us any good, and continue to harbor (even nurse!) our negative feelings toward those who have hurt us?

Perhaps it’s because we fear that there will be negative consequences for us if we forgive. Or maybe it’s because we don’t fully understand what forgiveness is and the profound positive (even transformational) effect that it can have on us.

In considering the potential negative consequences of forgiveness, we may worry that, if we forgive our offenders, we will be:

1. Admitting to them, the rest of the world, and us that what they did was acceptable.
2. Condoning their hurtful behavior instead of getting justice (making them culpable) or revenge, so that they’ll think twice before trying to hurt us again.
3. Minimizing or suppressing our hurt feelings instead of resolving them.
4. Opening the door to further abuse by letting down our guard.

From this perspective, forgiveness can make things worse, not better! It’s no wonder people balk at forgiveness. But forgiveness is not letting offenders off the hook so that they can abuse us again nor is it minimizing or suppressing the trauma we experienced.

The secret (and beauty) of forgiveness is that it is not about the offender or their acts against us. Rather, it is about us.

The process of forgiveness is profound, restorative and transformative and may be one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. The key to forgiveness is learning what we have to do and then walking the path with the courage and wisdom we all have within us.

On the path to forgiveness, there are two significant tasks: the first is detaching from the offender and the emotional pain we experienced. The second, which is made possible through detachment, is “opening our hearts” to our true selves.

 Detaching

 The writer and mystic, Thomas Merton, once wrote, “The secret of interior peace is detachment”. During the process of forgiveness, we do not detach by fully forgetting or editing what happened in the past. Rather, we focus on those aspects of the painful experience that inhibit or prevent us from moving beyond the hurt so that we can develop a new, healthier perspective about our situation.

1.    Detaching from negative feelings. It is important, first, to communicate our hurt and have our feelings validated. However, we then need to move past venting our feelings by learning to relate our story in an objective manner, without emotion. For example, we do not demonize the offender, engage in self-pity, and/or vent our rage or resentment. Detaching from our negative feelings has a positive effect on our physical and emotional health and will help free us to assess our situation in a different light.

2.    Defining ourselves by what happened. Sometimes when bad things happen to us, it morphs into reshaping our identity, as in “I’m a rape victim” or “I’m a down-sized executive”. This identity as a victim of unfortunate circumstances is reinforced when we continually reminisce about the hurts of our past.  By reframing our experience, we come to recognize that the bad things that happen to us need not define who we are. At our core, we are capable of much more than that.

3.    Giving up the idea that the offender must change. It is unrealistic to expect others to change when we forgive them. Once we relinquish the need for their changing, we come to accept what is. This frees us to move toward our truer and deeper selves. It is here that we arrive at the key and the mystery to forgiveness: we do not forgive others in order to change their behavior or disposition toward us; rather, we forgive in order to transform ourselves.

A natural response to being hurt is to shut down and close our hearts. A key factor in healing, however, is to open our hearts so that we can view the offender and ourselves in new ways.

 Opening our Hearts

 “To be loving and kind is our deepest aspiration, because love and kindness is the true nature of the human heart” –Buddhist Nun Kathleen McDonald

Opening our hearts takes us to the last leg of our journey. It is here that we experience a release from emotional pain and the recognition of our spiritual power.

So how do we open our hearts? By doing the following:

1. Choosing the type of person we want to be and acting according to our highest nature or “true selves”.
2. Connecting with a universal source of truth and goodness through our spiritual traditions or within ourselves. This focus helps to move us beyond our pain to empowerment and inner peace.
3. Acknowledging that, as in all world religious traditions and other spiritual philosophies, the love for all humans, from family to enemy, is an achievable ideal.
4. Learning ways (via detachment) to a greater understanding of and empathy toward the offender, leading us to genuine compassion.
5. Transforming our personally destructive rage into productive action that helps others who have experienced similar traumas.

The journey of forgiveness is a journey of transformation. We empty our hands of hurt and open our hearts to become empowered by forgiveness. In so doing, we fully embrace our true nature and highest potential as human beings.

The Dawning of a New Year – Choosing Hope Over Despair

 

The dawning of hope

I prefer to live in hope rather than despair.

Not that I ignore the deep pain we are passing through. Like everyone I have experienced the Year of Covid and political turmoil as a challenge. With serious illness on many fronts in my family, old friends dying, and huge divisions and the pandemic in our world it is easy to be distressed.

But instead of falling into a downward spiral I can choose to view my circumstances as either 

A death rattle or the birth pangs of new possibilities.

I choose hope over despair based on a deep-seated conviction that

The future, however, is finer than any past. —Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, The Making of a Mind

Despite all my misgivings I know in my bones that there is a unifying and loving Presence, impossible to describe and difficult to deny in the universe. It connects us to all creation and each other.

With that foundation of hope my wife and I sat down on New Year’s day and rehearsed our hopes for the next year. We did not resurrect the usual suspects that make their way into most resolutions. We did not discuss exercising more, losing weight, and reading more books. 

Instead we discussed hope-based intentions. Now a few days later these intentions are beginning to bear fruit. As the saying goes “When the student is ready the teacher appears”

Go inward on a daily basis to the place of silence. Here I will listen to my heart rather than my head for the voice of the inner unifying and loving Presence. First we attend to the whisper. Then we take action.

Look for more opportunities to make what the late John Lewis calls “good trouble”. Here I will use my gifts to mentor, write, and go outward into my world seeking causes of peace and justice. Old connections and new people come into my life on a weekly basis. This convinces me of the truth of synchronicity. For instance the other night I had a dream about some of my former students. The next day one of them reached out to me.

Develop my intuitive and gut level ways of knowing. The next day I listened to a taped session that Kris had with a spiritual director 25 years ago. He intuited that g-d would bring someone into her life to deepen her own spiritual journey and affirm her to the depths of her being. That session occurred two months before we met. Listening with the heart is my new aspiration.

Discard useless emotions like resentment and bitterness. Find a path through forgiveness. Two days later I had a conversation with a person where I had carried deep hurt for thirty years. I was able to tell her that I carried no malice in my heart towards her and affirmed her for her contribution in my life.

What hopes do you have for your new year that emerges from your inner silent place?

Dealing with Differences – Balancing Truth and Love

It’s no great revelation that the USA is highly divided. Each side claims to have the truth and contradicts the other. The protests across the great divide are intended to persuade and convert. This is the case in every area of life.

In the era when I practiced as a psychologist people who came for marriage counseling were often in a power struggle. Each party tried to explain how the other was the source of the problem, tried to get me to take sides, and then requested that I put the other right.

How then does one navigate cultural, political, religious, and personal divides?

My take on a balanced life is that you live your own truth and act from a place of love.

Live Your Own Truth

It takes maturity, courage, and experience to find and live one’s own truth. This in part is shaped by our personality (e.g. do you have a strong drive for justice or have you separated from your parents and children in healthy ways?), culture (e.g. have you evaluated your cultural conditioning and come to your own conclusions?), and do you have the inner courage and community support to stand by your values and convictions.

Act From a Place of Love

“Lean toward the whispers of your own heart, discover the universal truth, and follow its dictates. Know that the truth always leads to love and the perpetuation of peace.” – John Lewis

The older I get the more I attempt to be a loving person. This is not a snap especially if others are intractability different. The love quest requires a high degree of self-awareness and advanced empathy. We need to see beyond our resistance to the heart of that person/situation. Can we step back from our ego-driven inclination to be right, control, and change things? 

We never influence others when we ridicule and humiliate them. I have a few people in my life that come from different parts of the religious, political, and personality spectrum. However being a loving person does not mean that we shy away from stating our position with conviction. Not does it mean that we step back from refuting the opposite point of view. But love does regulate how we treat others. At all times we seek common ground and behave in compassionate ways.

I recognize that diversity of thought and culture can lead to greater creativity. But when the conflict becomes political (not necessarily along party lines) or personality clashes (controlling types against pleasers), some of these people can rub one the wrong way and jam up the works.

What then? It is helpful to ask,

“How can I be a loving person in this instance?”

“How can this person/situation be embraced as my teacher?”

“What in my history causes me to react so strongly?”

“How can I see the true essence of this individual?”

As we seek to change ourselves rather than trying to control or convert others then we begin to see love in action.

My New Year wish for all of us

May the light of truth shine through us

And may we see others through the eyes of love

And may we all act for peace and justice

Being Seen – A Reflection on the Movie “The Painter and the Thief”

We all need to be seen. 

A person I know asked her partner of fifty years “What is it about me that you really like?” Unfortunately he took too long to reply. Ultimately he blurted out “I like what you do for me”.

Was that all there was to this lifelong relationship where everything was about him and nothing about her except for her service to him?

In the must-view documentary movie “The Painter and the Thief” director Benjamin Ree tells the story of how Barbora Kysilkova, a Czech artist, had two of her paintings stolen from a gallery in Oslo. The drug addict and petty-thief Karl-Bertil Nordland is arrested for the crime. In a court scene the artist asks Karl whether he would permit her to paint his portrait. Later after the relationship had become more intimate she reveals the painting to him. He bursts into tears. Movie reviewer Robert Hanks writes 

At a time so rich in instant image-making and instant judgment, how extraordinary to know that someone has paid you such real, deep attention and that nevertheless they have not swiped left; you are not rejected. 

Being deeply known is the greatest of human gifts. Unfortunately many live in hiding from others and ultimately from themselves. In so doing they remain undiscovered and harbor feelings of alienation and rejection. 

Lonely people often live around clueless people. The “me, me, me” syndrome excludes us to the point that it renders us invisible. 

So why does being seen bring us to tears? 

In the movie, the artist did not view Karl as a drug addicted petty thief. She saw deep into his soul and the painting reflected his true personhood. Also in discovering him she uncovered her true self. We do well to see others beyond their limitations, job performance, diagnosis, and in the case of Karl, his criminal record

The right set of circumstances provide the ground in which the seed of our personhood grows and thrives. We experience our true selves through the eyes of others who show curiosity about us, accept our foibles, celebrate our strengths, and are vulnerable in return.

To be seen it to be known. That’s enough to make anyone cry and then grow into the best self.

Restraining Quick Trigger Finger Judgments – A New Year Course Correction

You notice the “look”. 

Either you or someone else raises an eyebrow, wags a finger, or mutters “tut-tut”. Worse still blurts out (or thinks) something derogatory. 

Putting it bluntly, words of judgment pop up more easily than an accepting heart. 

You are not perceived to be part of the “in” crowd. You belong to the wrong political party. You have a same sex marriage. You are on the bottom rung of the caste system (i.e. black). Or as in the novel “The Queen’s Gambit” the prejudice is that girls cannot be champion chess players.

In all cases these are examples of a “them/us” mentality.

We all like to think that we are above this.

But are we really that evolved?

I was challenged by an opinion piece in today’s NYT by Peter Wehner “The Forgotten Radicalism of Jesus Christ”. He points out that he chose his followers from the wrong crowd, touched lepers, talked with woman, had some of his harshest words for the religious establishment, embraced those who were marginalized, and extended a hand of acceptance to those who had stumbled and fallen. 

So I ask myself, 

“Where am I on the spectrum of acceptance versus judgment?”

 “Do I go beyond saying ‘I’m not racist’ and instead become anti-racist?”

“Do I reflect, “Why are the poor really poor?”

This is not the time for hand wringing but for focused and intentional action. It’s an opportunity to really listen to the stories of the marginalized. It’s an occasion for grace and not judgment.

The New Year, the Covid crisis, and Winter itself are a time for self-reflection and a course correction.

What’s your New Year resolution?

Letting Go – Moving On

When it comes to the year 2020 most of us have no problems letting go. But at times we hang on to counterproductive ways far too long. In so doing we infect everyone around us including ourselves. We also limit the fulness of living because of our constricted way of being.

Some villagers in Africa were having problems with monkeys stealing their melons.

One resident devised a plan to place several large melons in a field. He then carved a small hole in the thick skin of each pumpkin. He anticipated that the monkeys could slide its hands through the opening and grab the seeds. But the monkey was trapped.

Why? He refused to let go of the seeds.

What do monkeys and pumpkins have to do with our moving on with life in ways big and small?

Here are some possible scenarios where we need to detach from our past.

Forgiving those who have hurt or betrayed us.

The word basically means letting go of the pain. It does not justify what others may have done. Nor does it mean that we ‘forget’ and naively walk into the  buzz saw of abuse all over again. Also it does not necessarily mean that we are reconciled with the person(s). That would be naïve and masochistic. (See my blog on Forgiveness).

Transcending our small and egocentric selves.

I am learning more and more that the value of my person is not attached to my accomplishments or intellectual acuity.

Nor is knowledge (facts and information) the same as wisdom (a different way of seeing the world like inner guidance through intuitive knowing, sometimes called gut knowledge).

We painfully and reluctantly let go of our cherished identities and the false sense that we are superior to or different from others. Instead we humbly admit that when it comes to ultimate issues we don’t know squat. We need something bigger than ourselves to guide our lives. We need the freedom to live in the present. As spiritual teacher Beverly Lanzetta writes

“People who are fully present know how to see fully, rightly, and truthfully“.

Letting go of the illusion of control.

One thing we should have learned from the year 2020 is that so much that happens in life is beyond our control. None of us dreamed at the beginning of that year that we would face a pandemic, economic hardship, and a growing experience of the deep racial divide in our world. 

Letting go is a form of surrender especially to the impermanence of life. It helps us recognize that we have far more questions than answers about ultimate matters. That can prompt rare moments of humility. “I give up” is not necessarily admitting defeat. Wisdom comes to us when we are not afraid to open ourselves to the unknown. When we admit ignorance, barriers evaporate and wisdom shows us its face.

Letting go of trying to control everything opens up new space in our lives. In this way we acquire a deepened sense of purpose, more intimate relationships, and the capacity to live more wholeheartedly in the present.

How’s that for a whole new way of living? Ans is this not a more significant new year resolution beyond exercising more and losing weight?

So You Want To Change?

Written with Kristine MacKain, Ph.D

You are planning to make some changes as you move into the new year.

Some changes we choose. In other cases life chooses for us. Some transitions are welcomed and others we would gladly forgo. But in all cases, to some degree or another, we are different people after the life event.

Fundamental changes often provoke deeper life questions that have no easy answers such as

What opportunity can I find in this climate of change?

What’s most important to me right now?

What is my life’s mission?

Though change is difficult, even painful, it can also be very productive if we keep in mind the following principles:

1. Remain open to other ways of knowing

For a number of years one of the authors taught a class in a business management program on world religious traditions. Many students came to respect that there were other ways of seeing the world.  Some found it difficult to accept other ways of addressing ultimate questions but the ones who did broadened their view of the world and of themselves. An open heart and mind is a key to productive change.

2. Focus on living the questions

Acknowledging that we don’t know the answers and, consequently, living the questions opens the door to discovering true wisdom. People who seek certainty in absolutes often are more interested in security than the pursuit of truth. Also, ironically, “facts” can get in the way of experiencing underlying truth. In this information age where knowledge is everything, life’s deepest questions are better approached with “I don’t or I can’t really know”. Daniel Pink captures this process beautifully when he remarked that when we ask questions, life becomes a dance rather than a wrestling match.

3. Be willing to surrender to the unknown

At times, our moments of greatest opportunity lie in periods of confusion. “I give up” is not necessarily admitting defeat. Wisdom comes to us when we are not afraid to open ourselves to the unknown. When we admit ignorance, barriers evaporate and wisdom shows us its face.

4. Recognize that life “as it is” is not working for us

Maya Angelou once said, in effect, that when there is great pain in front of you as well as behind you, change paths. We always have the power to choose a different way. Habits of the past do not have to be our future destiny.  Some of the more profound changes in life happen when we choose to face (as opposed to escape from) our pain, ultimately leading us to make better choices for ourselves.

5. Remember that times of struggle and fragility can be times of transition and transformation.

Don’t automatically reject life’s darker moments. View them as teachers that introduce us to expanded versions of our selves and greater possibilities. That’s why I love winter as a time for solitude and reflection. Our winter of discontent eventually gives way to spring with new and yet undiscovered life.

Questions

What changes are you being prompted to make right now?
How can the above principles lead you to a more productive outcome?

Go Imagine – See the Future and Make it Happen

We all develop mental images of what we want for ourselves. Some are fantasies that die on the vine. Other visions of the future are serious intentions based on deep long-standing desires and stellar abilities. We see solutions to challenges that no one has thought of or developed before that meet real world needs. 

One thing that is true of all possibility thinking is that many people don’t just jump in and support us. Recently a research scientist told me “At a meeting in our corporate headquarters last week they brought in a couple of the top scientists who talked about how they created new and astounding technologies. The amazing thing was that they did it in their spare time.” 

We cannot wait for the majority to give us the green light to follow our dreams. There are just too many naysayers out there. Most go it alone or with the support of one or two close friends or associates. Don’t allow the critic in your head nix your creativity..

Is your imagination stimulated to innovate or move in new directions? 

Here are ten practices of effective innovators.

1. Create a compelling story (imagine a world where) that arises from their imagination.
2. Invite influential stakeholders to be partners/sponsors in the venture. They tell their story in a way that excites others. Visions are caught not taught.
3. Persist despite skepticism and opposition. They know the difference between “Know when to quit” and, “Don’t give up too soon!”
4. Break or at least bend the rules by which others think they should operate.
5. Show flexibility and a willingness to change course quickly if new circumstances demand such an action.
6. Allow mistakes to act as course corrections or learning trials.
7. Estimate the risk accurately.
8. Launch out on an “adventure of faith” before all the resources are available. 
9. Remain very clear on the opportunities built into the vision of the future based on clear data.
10. Use the toothbrush test (A term used at Google to determine the viability of a project or investment). This test answered the question “will people use it at least twice a day and will it have long-term usefulness?”

Go ahead now ignore the naysayers

Imagine, intend, and initiate