“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.” Talmud
We are often quick to prejudge a situation through the negative lens of our own state or projections.
Consider some of the following distorted situations.
The disgruntled traveler who sees the locals as weird.
The unhappy partner who views intimate relationships as a lost cause.
The fearful person who views risk taking as too dangerous.
The greedy person who views the world as filled with scarcity.
The conflict avoidant employee who sees a confrontation with the boss as dangerous.
How do we get beyond seeing things as we are?
1. Seek out and embrace accurate feedback about our distortions and thank the people who lovingly tell us the truth.
2. Approach any situation with the question “What’s good about this person/place/or issue?
3. Do not judge ourselves for our distortions but use a mixture of self-compassion or self-deprecating humor to right size our perspective.
So when I am inclined to live the words of the old ditty
“Everyone is weird,
save me and you.
And sometimes I think
you weird too.”
Will someone please encourage me to question my perspective and consider an alternative like a positive disposition?
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