Eight Relationship Disruptors


We all struggle with relationships at some time or another. But when is that struggle a major disruptor?

Think of the personal or work relationships that have gone sour on you. More than likely you experienced one of the following.

The person (habitually and not just temporarily)

1.   Was not attuned to you (What was that that you said?)

2.   Was self-absorbed (What’s in it for me?)

3.   Projected their needs (I want you to make me look good)

4.   Competed (Don’t tell me about your accomplishments)

5.   Tried to control (Do things my way)

6.   Wanted a nurse (Take care of me)

7.   Had conflicting agendas – e.g. sexualized the relationship or tried to proselytize (Do things my way)

8.   Assumed that you were like them. (Be like me)

Reflect on Your Relationships

What potential deal breakers you have experienced in relationships?

Were those behaviors really that big of a deal or were you sweating the “small stuff”?

What behaviors can you overlook and then within yourself recalibrate you expectations?

When do you have to limit contact with the other person or set clear boundaries?

When do you say, in the words of Lincoln, “I don’t like that person, I am going to have to get to know him/her better”?

You May Also Want to Read


1.   Seeing I to I  (January 2013)

2.   Managing Difficult Employees (December 2012)

3.   I Don’t Like That Person – It’s Really Me I’m Talking About  (June 2011)


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About cedricj

I am a licensed psychologist and management consultant and have always been intrigued by how leaders can inspire people in their organizations. The bottom line is that people are not always motivated by material rewards, the use of the carrot or the stick, fear and intimidation,and command and control, Five human needs inspire and drive us. Kristine S MacKain, Ph.D and myself describe these inspirational forces in our book "What Inspirational Leaders Do" (Kindle 2008)
This entry was posted in I to I Relationships - The Face of Authentic Connection, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Eight Relationship Disruptors

  1. Pingback: Eight Relationship Disruptors | People Discovery

  2. Pingback: Eight Relationship Disruptors | Inspirational Leadership Management and Engagement | Scoop.it

  3. Ameet Dubey says:

    just happen to stumble upon your blog….really appreciate the kind of work that you are doing. This blog would help many people to understand their own self much better than they actually think or claim.

    I have myself made an very humble attempt to do such kind of work , although at a very nascent stage, hence would look forward to reading your blog for my own self-development and guidance in my professional work

    • cedricj says:

      Dear Ameet,
      I am always delighted when people like yourself “stumble” on my blog. In a sense we are all seekers of truth and at times in nascent stages of the quest. My blog is in many ways autobiographical in that the topics are issues that I wrestle with in my personal and professional life. My greatest teachers have been my clients and my readers.

      Thanks for weighing in on this topic,

      Warm regards,


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